Candi Locs

got that one family member who will screw you over and go on about they day like it never happened.

when you confront them about it, they so f’d up that they can’t understand how what they did hurt you.

you allow them to screw you over because you love them and they play the victim time and time and time again.  i mean, you been struggling for over ten years!

well this was the icing on the cake and im done pitying/sympathizing/rationalizing for people who don’t wanna do better and that seem to have no sense of morality.

im pissed but like i said before, its nothin..

btw… today’s my bday.

glad thats off my chest… goodnight

Baked talapia, sweet potatoes and mixed vegetables…

Oh yeah, glass of red wine…

Chilling…

Toady I told my family that I wasn’t going to celebrate Thanksgiving.  I almost got stoned.

I hate this.  Im 23 years old and I feel like Im 13.  I can’t have an opinion of my own.  I can tell my dad that I have a headache and he will say “No you don’t!”

I remember in high school I wasn’t feeling well and my mom asked if I was pregnant, instead of consoling me or taking me to the doctor or trying to find out why I felt a certain way.

As a grown 23 year old, I revealed to my mother that I was prescribed birth control to get my cycle back on track, and she scowled at me looking at me like I was prostitute in the street.  She asked me ” well what have you been doing all this time?”  I asked her why she would say that and she said of course I would protect myself.  She said, ” well I can’t assume that”.  She act like she had the birds and the bees talk with me… no I learned about sex through tv! lol. 

Im so hurt by my family and they have the nerve to tell me that I am trying to alienate myself from them by not celebrating Thanksgiving.  Instead of asking me why and sincerely wanting to know why, they ask me why and attack and accuse and judge me like I said I wanted sell drugs.

The only relief I will ever have to be “myself” will be to move out.  It hurts so bad to feel like I can’t freely express my own opinions or things that I am just thinking about with out feeling like someone is going to go in on whatever I got to say.  I’m bout to be real ghost around here.

There is so much that I have learned and it is hard to comprehend some of it.  

However, today I am attending a Shabbat(Sabbath) at Israelite Heritage.   I been going there a few times and it goes against everything Christians believe but totally lines up and agrees with what the bible says.

If you question religion like I have, I encourage you to research it and do your own study.  Everything that you are told is not necessarily from the word.  Just sayin.

Shabat Shalom All.

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